Selfish: devoted to or caring only for oneself;
concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare,etc.,regardless of others.
My selfish aka Cray breakthrough.
I have been in a relationship for just over three years. When I first met Max I wanted him to spend all his spare time with me and looking back that was incredibly selfish. It bred from my own insecurities.
However my attitude was destructive and pushed my partner away. We were together but unhappy.
6 months into the relationship I relaxed, backed off and started to do more for myself and see more of my own friends. I was happier, and appreciated how important time on my own, and time my with friends was. In a way I was still being selfish but in an enhancing way.
3 years later we both appreciate that each other need their own time and time to be their own person. In fact this makes the partnership stronger. I wish that I had not been so selfish aka cray at the beginning but it happened and I certainly learned from it.
If you are with a selfish partner, understand that they are most probably just insecure. However they do need to change and if they are not prepared to the relationship will fail. I am glad I had my breakthrough in the early days.
So how can you stop selfish feelings interfering?
* Stop being focused on how you feel and what you want out of the relationship and start giving, you will notice that you will start to get more of a positive response. You never know he may turn down the beer session with the lads (but you have obviously made plans that involve cocktails by now!)
*Understand how having a selfish attitude effects your well-being. Selfish people are not happy, unhappy people are unattractive. You are damaging the relationship not protecting it.
Remember that the above points can be implemented immediately and they will start to have an instant affect.